SOURCE: MATERNAL
A majority of women we find it very hard to deal with the continuity of our work and the rearing of children simultaneously. Not that this is impossible, it depends on where we have deployed our identity before arriving at the maternidad.Trataré to explain. Today
women have conquered the streets. The industrial age and entry into the twentieth century, we have opened the door to enter the world of work, universities, careers, money, politics, sports and independent thinking. Maybe younger women feel it as something natural, but the more mature we know it is a late historical merit.
The reality is that women have been forced to develop emotional, relational and communication more in line with the male energy, to take ownership of a place in the outside world. And we do it better. Thus, over the last two or three generations, women have been finally looks, recognized and appreciated in this prominent position, work or social. From there we began to be felt. It is no small thing.
same time, well away from those feelings full of adrenaline, cigarettes and coffee every so often remains a mysterious desire to bear children. Sometimes in a manner so that the pregnancy appears unconscious without having call on our lives. But one day there it is. You can become a magical moment that we power and makes us flourish. We are excited to offer the future child everything that we have received in our childhood. The best we prepare. Give birth. And a day to day life is turned upside down, sometimes in a not so happy as we had imagined.
Child plunges us into a sea of \u200b\u200bdarkness, we are thrown into exile from the world where interesting things happen, we lose the train than we had assumed it was real life. Social world disappears, time, the adult conversations, money, autonomy, freedom, finally, disappear as individuals valued by others. Precisely, we feel that we cease to exist.
there appears a huge internal contradiction that we have no real awareness of it. We love our babies but we want to escape hell. We raise them with love but we desperately need to be ourselves again. Our "I" is lost in diapers.
The misunderstanding that modern women share is the belief that our "self" is only at work. In fact, a part of us has actually been developed there. But another part of our inner self is hidden and remains unrecognizable to ourselves. We have not fed and we have not trained to live with our other parties so coveted and applauded. Therefore, that portion of "I" is unseated. No public that the value or admire that. Sometimes even some people tolerated.
This is one of the reasons why, beyond the economic needs or labor commitments made before the birth of the child, return to work quickly under all sorts of excuses to be endorsed by all persons responsible and serious. Work saves us. We returned the lost identity. We put on a shelf visible and orderly view of the world. "We are" employees, secretaries, lawyers, editors, carers, doctors, engineers, dancers and cooks. No matter. The fact is that "we are" something that has a name and place to coexist in society.
However, the child has been in many cases, dissatisfied. Not so much the hours that the mothers are absent. If not because of the burden of identification, assessment and we hope that the mothers every day at the "outside" savior and giver of identity. It is clear that "outside" we "back to" and "inside" the child up and alone, we become invisible.
why we often believe that motherhood and work are incompatible in a sense. Or rather, we believe that if we expect to be excellent mothers, will at the expense of work where we will lose profits and growth because of the time which takes up the boy's dedication. And if we want to be excellent workers, dedicated and directed energy to the workplace will be at the expense of a poorer bond with the child rearing or delegating to other people.
share is a crossroads today women who have young children. The challenge lies in the ability to build a deep emotional connection with the child and the whole of our inner core, with the clear sense that the identity will have to be reformulated on the basis of our emotional resources. It is from the inside out. In that case, may be possible to continue working, if it is our desire and our need, without the child having to pay the price of emotional neglect.
The difference is in using work as a refuge or salvation with disabilities to enter our emotional relationship with their children, or to deploy our new identity as mothers in the invisibility of everyday life with small children without hurting the relationship with them work or not. Specifically, it is not the work itself that keeps us from delving into the emotional relationship with our children, but our ability or emotional disability. Laura Gutman
Foster
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